Holding Space for Others

This is a repost from someone but describes well when we are able to create “home” for others 

Holding Space for Others

BY MADISYN TAYLOR
When we hold space for someone, we offer to be a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering.

We have all been called upon at one time or another to help a loved one through a difficult time. When the help required consists of concrete actions such as running errands or making phone calls, we know what to do. But sometimes we are called to hold space for the person as they go through their journey. They may need to express anger or grief; they may need to talk or simply be silent. They may need us to hold their hand; they may need us to give them time alone. Whatever the case, when we hold space for someone, we offer ourselves to be a container for the overwhelming feelings they may be encountering due to their circumstances.

When we offer ourselves in this way, the more centered and grounded we are, the better. Our steadiness allows our companion to lean into us for support, and our presence provides an environment in which they can be free to move. We can also help by being responsive, allowing them to dictate the flow of action from talking to not talking, from anger to grief, and back again. By being aware and open, we can help them confront their feelings when that feels right, and back off from them when they need a break. Holding space requires humility, conscientiousness, the ability to step out of the way, and us to honestly understand that this is not about us.

When we love someone in this way, we provide a space in which they can simply be, and feel what they need to feel without worrying about how they are being perceived. We can provide this offering in person, over the phone, or even from a distance through meditation. However we do it, when we hold space for someone in need, we are offering a gift of the highest nature.

defining: H o m e

So, it's two years later since I posted.  A great deal has happened (all wonderful things) to divert my focus on this blog. I continued to be nudged throughout the this time to write. But what to write? A journal? A diary? No... not quite.

During these past two years I have had a baby, developed my career and continued on the road of recovery with fellow like-minded people.  As we evolve as humans going through ebbs and flows, so does groups of people. I found an acceptance around this when my home group in the recovery community started to drastically change. It was a natural process that needed to happen. I found myself drifting apart from this collective group of women and the space that they held together. I still keep in touch individually but no longer attend the weekly gathering. Most of my sobriety and journey towards growth occurred in the basement of a church with that collective group of women who showed me strength, grace and dignity. This lead me to seek out a new "home".  Old timers suggest finding a group to call home when you feel safe, accepted and comfortable around the people that hold that space.  This was hard because what I was seeking wasn't merely just a home group; it was more. I temporarily found "home" at a restorative yoga studio with an old friend who held a space. I was immediately connected: mind, body and spirit. 

I began to consider the question: what exactly is home?  Living a life that contributes to the greatest and highest good of all means that the world revolves with me in it, not revolving around me. I wanted to be able to share "home" with others just as it is shared with me - intentionally or not. So, here I am again! As often I as I can, I will be sharing my journey to find H o m e.  What does it feel like? What does it look like? How is it conceptualized? How does it evolve? How is it created? How is it constant? How is it fluid? You get the idea! 

Before I begin to discuss my earliest experiences of "home", we were discussing today whether you are born with the emotion 'fear'.  I believe this to be true as it is the root of our behaviors, even at the time of conception.  A biological response give to us by our ancestors. With this said, I believe that the converse is therefore true. We are born with the ability to feel and find 'home' given to us by our ancestors.  Some may call this love, some may call this comfort, and so on. This is the very reason I would like to raise a discussion around: what exactly is home?